this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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