Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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