We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
