whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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