I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
