i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
