Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
