you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
