How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
