almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize