You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize