I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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