Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
