I look better un-naked...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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