Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
