Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize