Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
