I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So vagazzling was a success
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
