Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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