i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize