The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
