We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize