woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
