Me too!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
