I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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