so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
