well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
