Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
where am i from again
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
