id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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