All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
