THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
