I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
