piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
