How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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