we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
