we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
