My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
