So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
