someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
