Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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