I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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