I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
