If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize