ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
