then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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