YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Nicole vs. Life
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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