She said her name was "party"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize