Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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