I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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