Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
