absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
