I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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