You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
