we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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