i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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