dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
