The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
