...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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