A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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