I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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