I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize