That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
