Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize