he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
