i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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