singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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