Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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