Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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