i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
