Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
