Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
there is puke in my bra ... again
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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