I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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