I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she smelled like a LAN party
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
