What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
